Cutesy, not!

Girls are supposed to be cute. Look cute, sound cute and act cute.

Looking cute is out of the question. I look more like a witch. Yeah, the one with the crooked nose and green skin.
I tried phrasing everything that I wanted to write into a cutesy way and I'm probably never ever going to do it ever again. Let's just say, a cold chill ran down my spine.
Acting cute...*shivers* Ughh...

I guess I can't be cute at all, huh?
Oh well. I am me, like it or lump it.

Ways to Shut Up Your Ex When You Call Him As a Friend and He Thinks You Want To Get Back Together

Bro's back from the hospital. He's now happily enjoying his game on his own desk, at his own home. I did feel like poking him just to seem him squirm but mom gave be a glare of death, so I didn't.
Yes, I'm mean. :P

Today's post is about something interesting that happened at midnight yesterday, or today...
...I hate referring to time. It gets me all jumbled up.

Okay, Cass (my confidant and neighbor) broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks ago; rather, she supposedly got dumped.
...Personally, I don't think she got dumped (confusing, yes? It'll all be clear when I explain later) nor were they a couple to start with, considering that they've never met in real life and their medium of communication is only through the net and text messaging. What's there to get dumped when they've not even got on a date before?
Besides, it was the guy who initiated it. He was the one would said that he loved (gasp and blek) her even when they were practically strangers; that and he just got dumped. I did tell her that she might just be a rebound girl and she said that she'll help him stand up again.

That's what I admire about Cass; she gives her best when she feels sympathetic for the others. I think that she's just really gullible (and just got smacked on the head by her for typing that out). Ouch...
And I just notice the word 'pathetic' in sympathetic; does it mean that both the sympathizer and the sympathized are both pathetic?
*another smack on the head by Cass* Oww, that hurts. Hey, what's wrong with being a realist?
And don't spam hate messages on my Cbox just for that.

Ooo, I forgot to state the reason of them supposedly breaking up (Does it even qualify as a break-up?)
We were (gosh, I'm glad it's over) sitting for SPM this year. She was M.I.A for a few months; she didn't go online nor did she message him. But she did inform him about it before disappearing though, which was pretty responsible of her if you asked me. She talked to him a few weeks ago and found out that he has a new girl. Don't worry, she wasn't heartbroken nor did she break down. Surprisingly, she was pretty indifferent about it.
That's beside the point. Apparently, that fella started dating the girl just right before Cass told him that she'd be out. The nerve of that jerk!

Anyways, the following is the conversation she had with her ex (Can he even be considered an ex when they weren't even dating in the first place?) when she called him to wish him and his new girl a Merry Christmas. The phone was on loudspeaker mode and I was there as a moral support (kononya, more like a busybody...ehehe).
Do I have permission to write this? Of course I do; she's right beside me now! Howd'ya think I got smacked on the head, twice even!

He answered the phone quite gruffly; that's where Cass got pissed off.
Here's what she said:

Hey, I just called to wish you a Merry Christmas. You don't have to sound all gruffy on me. I know that you want to spend time with your 'new' girl, but don't you think that it's a lil too rude to just blow off a person who just wants to wish you a season's greetings?

-he tried to interupt-

Eh, you just listen here for a moment. I've got this all pent up things I need to say to you, and it can't wait since you pissed me off.

-surprisingly, he didn't hang up and asked her to say what she needs to. He might be a lil gentlemenly after all (like 1% perhaps).-

My reason of calling is only to wish a season's greeting, like I do to everyone of my friends. I'm not clingy or pining for you to suddenly come back to me, like you just told your new girl.
I've survived 17 years without a boyfriend and I sure as hell can survive now.

If you're honestly thinking that I'd really go out with you in the first place, you're seriously in out of your head!
I like guys who can make me laugh and hold good conversations; and by good conversations, I meant about issues of the world (she's a tree hugger) and debate with me. You did qualify the first on being funny. And quite frankly, the conversations with you are like talking to my young cousins, and they're ten years younger than you are. I'm not questioning your intelligence or anything, but I'd prefer a guy to be on the same frequency as I am.

-he sounded a lil dejected that she's calling him less intelligent that her, hah!-

As I told you that day, consider what I did for you as a favor; like a friend helping the another. I meant it.
I didn't take to the heart about the things that you told me before because I already knew that this would happen. And if you didn't forget, I did told you that you're free to find a girl; just promise to invite me when you walk her down the aisle.
Sure, I had a fun time and it was really comforting when I was down, but didn't you notice that it was perhaps a bit one sided? Didn't you notice that when you piled me with all your dilemmas in life, I didn't say anything about mine? And when you said that you 'loved' me, I only said 'you too'? I don't believe that the phrase 'I love you' should be said out unless one really meant it.

-he claimed that he meant it, only to be shut up by Cass when she said 'Yeah, at that time. But it should only be said when you don't plan on changing your feelings'.-

I don't think I got dumped, nor did we actually break up; we were never going out and there was never anything to break in the first place. Heck, I was pretty indifferent to what you said that day. I didn't cry, breakdown nor even feel sad as would any girl would do if you told them that. Those few months that I was M.I.A was like my typical life; I didn't miss you nor even think of you at all, which most probably prove how little it meant to me.

-Okay, that was kinda harsh. I did nudge her arm when she said that.-

I didn't want to say all of this to you the other day because I know it'll hurt a lot and I'm telling you now just to spite you for pissing me off with your attitude. Perhaps you might never want to talk to me again after this but I couldn't care any less. If you still do, I don't mind lending an ear to your problems that perhaps your new girl can't solve. You're still considered as a friend to me, but whether or not it's the same of me to you is entirely up to you. But please, just don't treat me like what you did just now. It's extremely rude and you'll lose more friends like that.
I hope what I told you will open up your eyes and enlighten your mind. That's all I got to say; again, Merry Christmas and goodnight.

-He said okay and she hung up-

And then she bet that he didn't understand half of the things she said. I nudged her asking her why and she said that his language is meh. (How mean!)
Owwh! She smacked me again!

Must be curious about why I'm writing / typing this out, huh? Well, Cass said that it'd be a really good way and example on how to shut those jerks up when you call them to talk as friends and they say that you're clingy and trying to get back with them.

Ay, this is why I'd rather not be involved with anyone. Cass was barely involved and this sort of problem arises. I don't even want to imagine what would happen if it was for real...

As Mogami Kyouko once said in vol.1 of Skip Beat,

Love is the prelude to disaster and despair.

I couldn't agree more.

明日の笑顔の為に

Smiling is not one of my favorite thing to do; I can barely hold a smile for five seconds.

Anyways, I just finished watching 花より団子 the second time. Yup, I LOVE the show and will be looking for the second season and the final movie; that and I've got to look for 花ざかりの君たちえっ. The one showing in the normal cable has just too much advertisements, which annoys the hell out of me.
I've even decided to unzip the manga and read it after I finish clearing my desk and this.
Yeah, I did say that I'd clear my desk a few weeks back, but you know...procrastination is one of my largest flaw.
It is half cleared and I never did notice that I had such a large table. I guess the books and the monitor took up most of the space. Since I'm now using a LCD screen, the space has gotten larger.

Back to clearing the junk and throwing out all the books.

Home, not-so-sweet, home and some other moronic person

Well, I'm back at home and it's damn freaking hot! Woooh~
That's the price I pay for going somewhere cold.

I don't feel like giving anything detailed; just that it was fun and pretty amazing, and there was a bit of cultural shock. Hey, at least I know what to expect the next time I visit Korea again. Overall, the food was nice, the accommodations are okay and the people there are rather polite. I've bought a few things which can't be found here and ate stuff that tastes a whole lot better than what we've got.
Visit Korea if you have the chance to, it's pretty fun.
Yes, I AM promoting to visit a foreign country. What we have here is meh...

Right, I've stumbled upon a really interesting but maddening article in Baka Manga Updates as I was heading to the releases section to check if my daily fixes was available.
This article was about a guy in Iowa, USA being charged for allegedly obscene manga, particularly for yaoi or BL (boy love, homo, gay...whatever else you might call it). He faces up to 20 years in prison.

The full article and story and be found at the following sources:
Click here and Click here too.
while a personal opinion of a manga fan can be found here.

Here's where I'll start my own opinion:

I think that the lawmakers and enforcers should spend more time thinking about more laws to save our dying planet than to go through people's parcel and posts or go around arresting people for reading comics.

Yes, that's exactly what I think. And yeah, it might probably be a really naive opinion; what do you expect out of a 17-year-old, huh? It's true that I might not understand the magnitude of the situation and am just a bystander or onlooker; a rather far onlooker that lives all the way across the world at that. But this affects me in a way, like it affects all the manga fans in the world.

How? Let's take this article for example: Click me
This article is complaining about Peach Girl, which I have previewed two years ago, around the age of 15. Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I can understand why the parents are complaining; but don't you think that ignorance (in context of the child) is actually bad?
And to answer the question that was posed by the mother of the child, MY parents DO know what I'm reading and they TRUST my judgment on what's right and wrong.

I have to admit, this topic is a double-edged sword. In one way, the child may grow up and mimic the scene that he/she had once saw or read about. In another, the child is aware that there is a kind of possibility of that scene happening to him/herself and will take precaution when out alone or that this kind of situation does happen in the world; rare as it is but it does happen.
Unfortunately, parents never seem to comprehend the latter fact; only thinking about the supposed 'pollution' that the graphic novel/ manga will do to the child. Come on people, YOU CAN'T SHIELD ALL THE BAD THINGS IN THE WORLD!
If they don't find out now, they'll find out eventually; perhaps in a harder, more painful and scarring way.

Nudity, present in some of the graphic novels that I've come across. Sometimes, the underwear is slightly seen and the undergarment is slightly revealed, so what? Compared to the cultural shock I experienced at the spa in Korea, these things are like grass at the side of the highway. Perhaps that experience has made me a lil more mature than others, and I know that it IS a NORM in certain communities in the world.

Besides, most of the graphic novels have labels clearly written on them, like +13, +15, +16 or for older teens or they give warnings like slight language and stuff. I qualify most of the manga that I read, being as old as I am. My sister, who is six years younger than I am, is barred and banned from touching and even coming near to the books in the first rack of my bookshelf, where all my manga are kept.
My point is, it's NOT the publisher's fault; rather, it's the fault of the reader's curiosity (or age). Humans have a brain; the brain has a section called the cerebrum which carries out mental processes such as learning and making judgment. The child SHOULD be able to make the right decision or judgment when it comes to picking up that novel. If taught correctly by the parents, the child should know that he/she is not at the right age to pick it up. So, the fault also lies at the parents.
Therefore people, don't blame the publishers; blame yourself that you've not taught your kid on making the right decisions. Yes, YOU.

What right to I have to even say that statement?
I don't touch yaoi, yuri, shotacon, lolicon and the worst, hentai; I don't even go near them. Sure, I am curious by nature but I DO know where to draw the line. I sure don't need my parents, teachers or even people who have nothing to do with my life to interfere at all.
To those people interfering with other's lives, BUTT OUT! It's none of your business. If that person doesn't pose as a threat, leave them alone! What's your problem? You got nothing better to do isit, huh? You go worry about your financial crisis lah! Bother about what people reading about for what?
(Sorry about the Manglish; kinda lost it there)
What about those romance novels, huh? The best example, Barbara Cartland; all the heaving bosoms and what nots. Just be happy that your kid is not reading about those!

Bottom line is (I'm getting sleepy now) just leave us alone. Everything has been so peaceful (I can't say for the economy though) and suddenly, they dropped this bomb on us. We've never done anything wrong, unless now you call reading as wrong. I like reading these graphic novels because it occasionally makes me feel fuzzy inside with their warm love story and to fill and brighten up my boring and mundane life; I'm sure there are a whole lot of other people who feels the same too.

Caffeine is bad for you; but yet millions of people drink coffee everyday (which includes me, for I did the past few days).
Smoking is bad for your health; but the tobacco business is one of the most profitable ones in the world. Not to mention that 6 out of 10 people in the world smokes.
So, don't take away our hobby; if we take away caffeine and cigarettes from you, you wouldn't like it, would you?

Braving The Cold

As if the unseen forces of nature heard my wish, it actually snowed! Yup, it was snowing when I woke up in the morning.
The floor was freezing cold when I got off the bed; wondered how bro could manage to sleep on the floor the entire night... And yes, I'm still using my mom's laptop. I've gotten used to the way the keys are positioned and am typing like normal.

Reports about the day will be done when I get back, which is in two days. It's 12 midnight at my place and we've got a lot to visit tomorrow. We're heading to the actual place where they filmed 1st Shop Coffee Prince and then learning how to make kimchi later on.

Oh yea, I managed to get my hands onto two ACTUAL Korean version of Goong. I've not opened the plastic wrappings yet, but I will as soon as I get home and then wrap it with my own embossed plastic.

I'm also sore from the skiing in the afternoon. I've got a mild sprain of both of my legs due to me trying to avoid people and ended up sliding off course and falling onto my back, with my legs still attached to the skis and upright. Can't get a picture of that? Umm...I'm sitting on my ass and my legs are at my side with the skis forming an 'A' shape, pointed edge at the front. Do you even know how painful that was? With the sore back from sharing a bed with my sister and enduring her kicks, my whole body is now sore. But the skiing part was fun; I now know how to turn right, left and how painful it is to fall. I barely know how to stop, which was part of the reason why I knocked onto people.
Bro was pretty awesome with his snowboard, even when he is a beginner.
I'd probably save up to get a skateboard so that I could snowboard the next time I go to a four season country.

I guess I should go to bed now, it's another long day ahead tomorrow.

tto manayo~

Snow

Yes, I am writing this in Korea, with great net speed at 19kbs at min and an awesome 333kbs at max, on my mom's laptop. If I could, I think I'd want to live here! I mean, comparing the wireless speed with here and back at home, our speed is like, meh.
I think that the MMORPG game would be awesome, if only my bro didn't delete of CABAL in mom's.

It's one hour earlier here; and it gets dark pretty early too.
Anyways, I've seen snow! Yea, snow! I've even had a snowball fight just now! Hehe...
We're going skiing tomorrow, then heading to Seoul to learn how to make kimchi.

I guess that's it for now; the full details will be when I come home, in three days. But that depends on whether I'll remember everything or if I have the mood to write about itI'll be an hour younger too! Mea rong! (blek!)

tto manayo~
In plain english, see you later~

PS: It isn't that cold; and sleeping on the floor is kinda nice, if the floor has a heater.

Today is a title-less post. Why? I'm sorta rushing for time. There's things to pack and dinner to worry for; and there's a few songs I need to sync into my MP3.

Okay, time's up. I need to bathe and go out for dinner now; see you guys in a week, yeah?

Moronic and Awesome

Just had a haircut a few days ago, dyed my hair too. Shocking, isn't it?
Why? I HATE IT when people ask about my hair, especially when they first start talking to me. It's always the same thing:

Person: What's with your hair? (or somewhere along that line)
Me: Oh, it's natural.
Person: Really? But you're so young!
Me: Well, it's in my genes. Blame genetics and my DNA for choosing that as my dominant.
Person: Ah. *looks at me awkwardly*

The most moronic ever was by a teacher:

Teacher: Eh, don't you know the school rules?
Me: Huh? Did I break any unknowingly?
Teacher: You did something to your hair!
Me: What?
Teacher: Don't you know that you can't highlight your hair, girl?
Me: Highlight? Umm, you must be mistaken. This IS my natural hair colour.
Teacher: You think I was born yesterday? This is called highlighting your hair.
Me: Just one question, who in their right mind WOULD want to highlight this colour, hmm? Besides, don't you think it's a lil too random? Highlights wouldn't look like this.
You can take it and try bleaching it, it'll still be that colour! *plucks one out*
Me: You can go call my parents, and they'd probably give you the same answer. If you would excuse me, I'm late for class.
Teacher: *speechless but glaring at me*

So, to get rid of that problem, I've dyed it olive brown! Yup, I really did it. It isn't any different from my original hair colour, which is dark brown (mostly). You can only spot the difference when I stand under the sun; it'll give a sort of reddish colour.
I wanted to have something like a brunnette, but mom was worried about the whole NS thingy and chose a more conspicuous colour. I'm fine with anything; I just want to get rid of it.

While the hairdresser was cutting my hair, I told her to keep my fringe short. Mom said that I was no longer in school and don't need to follow any rules. So, I just let the hairdresser do her stuff. I'm pretty happy what she did too. Sorry I can't offer any pictures. You can try to imagine though, for people who knows me personally.

Anyways...I'm leaving for Korea tomorrow! YAY!
This year's destination happened to be one of the countries that I'd want to visit. Sweet.


The flight is a night one and we'll be reaching Incheon early in the morning; seven in the morning to be exact (six in local time). The temperature has dropped to a staggering -8 yesterday and I'm hoping that it'll snow. It's not like I've not seen or touch snow before (I've had a horrible experience of having snow fall on me from the rooftop and got sick from it); we live in a country that's near to the equator, so chances of us experiencing snow is pretty low unless we travel. We're also spending a night at the ski resort and I hope that I could at least learn how to ski (or ice skate). I'm also looking forward to wearing a hanbok!


So for the next week, I'd be forgetting about all the problems back here and blissfully enjoying my vacation.

Wasted

Nope, I'm not drunk; nor have I ever or will be.
Red wine does make me a lil whoozy though.

I think I sprained my back...It's been hurting after I tried bending backwards to do the bridge (using the body to make an arch, not build a bridge). I should just lay down and do it from the ground instead. I'm really afraid of breaking my back.

Also, I just installed my Japanese word processor, and the first words that I input are:

今じじにいる自分をしんじたい

It means: I want to trust in who I am right here, right now.

夢に駈け出した背中 見守るから

It means: I'm watching your back as you chase that dream.

Sounds romantic, huh? Buahaha...
Well, I got it from a song that's quite nice. Now I have an idea! I'll try to type out the whole song. That way, I'll be able to learn a lot more words compared to waiting for classes to start!
I'll try my best though...

はじまりの風よ 届けメッセジ、
いつでもあなたを 信じているから。
あの時 夢に見ていた世界に立ているのに
見渡す景色に 足を少しすくませ
だけど後ろ振り向かないで
歩いてゆくこと決めたから
見上げた空 七色の虹
あなたも見てますか？
はじまりの風よ 届けメッセジ
夢に駈け出した背中 見守るから。
舞い上 がる風よ 陽の光まとい
自由の翼で強く飛び立とう。

There. Yay! There's a lot of Chinese words in there, mostly traditional ones. It's kinda awesome, you know, the way some of the words are pronounced.
Like 風; in Chinese, it's feng while it's kaze in Japanese.

I'm having so much fun that I'll go type another one out! Blueh!

気ずけば いつでも そばにいるけれど、
ホントわキライ？ スキ？ 妄想なの？
自分の気持が クリアに見えたら
レディ一でもホストでも
かまわないよ。
スキになってく 理由わみんな
違うよね ケド、
会いたい今 優しい君に、
桜キッス トキメイタラ、
蘭漫恋しよ！
未来よりも 今が肝心
麗し 春の恋わ、 花咲く乙女の美学.

Hmm...I wonder what would happen if I had a Korean word processor...

Oh well, back to renaming all my manga. Since I already have the batch renamer, YAY!
Kudos to Ariolander from MT who made the batch renamer know to me with her repacking guide! This saves me a lot of time that is wasted on typing each and every file individually. Even if I just copy and paste, it'll still take up a lot of time. With the batch renamer, it'll be done in the matter of seconds.

Oh well, now back to renaming. I've got around a few existing volumes to rename and a few hundred or so chapters that are store in my pen drive. I've not read any manga since the trials and have a lot of backed up ones. I'll work my way until I can see Zen again. Ganbatte!

What To Do Next

Well, every fifth former is experiencing their new found freedom.
I did say that I'd do everything in my to do list; but unfortunately, I'm broke. Everything that I want to do needs money, but in this world (or any other world) the same philosophy follows: No Money, No Talk.
Before, it was no freedom but have money; now it's got freedom but no money. What the hell?
Yeah, I'm not as fortunate as some people who can afford to buy or do anything they want or desire. Contrary to the belief of anyone, I'm not rich at all.

The good thing is, I'm back at my desk! The computer technician just fixed my internet link and upgraded my RAM to a smacking 752 MB, which means that CABAL will be much smoother. Sweet.

I did tidy up my room today. I took out all my uniforms and my other school stuff and packed it in the store room. That's the last time I'll ever see them. I even threw my school shoes out. Bye bye, my black friend.
Thinking back, I don't think I've worn the normal pinafore for such a long time. I've been in my librarian uniform since Form one. I only did get to wear the normal pinafore for umm... three months or so before changing. I doubt I even remember how I look like wearing a pinafore or the baju kurung. Blek, no point going back there.

What's now?
I guess I could start my driving lessons two weeks from now. Then, I could take my language lessons to fill up my time. With the knowledge of two new languages, I could diss people without them even knowing. Oh, that could be so awesome.

Je nai, baka. XD

FREEDOM is the Word

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
OH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Yup, I've finally finished the last of the public exams! I'm finally FREE!
I've screamed at the top of my lungs in my room and jumped up and down in excitement for 20 minutes before dropping myself hard onto my bed.

Here's the funny thing that happened during the examination...
Today, Wen Kai brought an alarm clock to the last paper, EST I. At first glance, I kinda had a hint what he was about to do, but didn't know that he'd actually do it.
Do what?
He set the alarm clock to ring at exactly 3.15 p.m, the time we finish the paper.
It was kinda funny. The alarm clock started to ring the moment the invigilator wanted to pick up the microphone to say that the time is up. The whole hall (or rather 30 students to be exact) burst into laughter! Hey, even the invigilators were chuckling too!
The alarm clock sounded the loudest to me cause he's sitting behind me.

As I was walking out to the gates, I did have a sense of nostalgia. This was the school I studied in for 5 years, no matter how much I disliked it. There's no such thing as graduation party or any of that sort in this country. As soon as you're done with SPM, you've already graduated. No party, no fun, nothing.

I must admit, there's a few things I'll happily live without.

1. No more uniforms! But it isn't all that great. Now, I'd have to think of what I want to wear everyday! Gah!
2. No more lousy teachers. That's the sweet part. Cause you're paying for education, the college has to provide good lecturers and they'd have to help you with your academic troubles.
3. No more early morning classes. The earliest would probably be at 8. There's no longer the need to wake up at 6 to get to school.
4. No more stinky toilets. Gawd, I've lived with smelly toilets for 11 years of my schooling days and will finally be rid of it.
5. The constant cut of electricity. This school has more cuts than any school.

Well, I will miss some of the teachers and probably something else that I can't think of now.

Speaking of secondary school, I don't think it turned out to be what I imagined it to be when I was between the transition of primary to secondary. I'd always imagined that we'd be walking to different locations for classes and the library would be open the whole time. I'd also thought that I'd actually be able to go out shopping with friends on weekends or have my social calendars filled with stuff to do. You know, like the high school life everyone sees on tv...
It wasn't like that at all.

But I am glad that it wasn't as I had imagined it to be. I'd definitely not learn what I know now. So to those people (and teachers) who had caused me much trouble and frustration, I now thank you for giving me such a wonderful opportunity to experience your backstabbing, gossips, troubles, nags and a whole lot other bad experiences. You guys have made me a much stronger and harder person. Thanks to you guys, I'd probably be able to handle what life throws at me much better. I'm no longer the shy and introverted girl you guys met back at Form one; now I'm the one that won't be blindly helping anyone and will dare to cuss and stick out the middle finger in your face. News flash, I could be a worse monster than you guys will ever be and it's all thanks to YOU. *evil smile*
The guilty shall feel the guilt, I need not name them.

Ah, now to relish my freedom by staying up late to read manga. I've got downloads dating back to four months ago that I've not yet read. Ta~

What's to Wonder?

Again, I'm compelled to type titles that have absolutely nothing to do with the content of my post, or have little to do with it.
Why? Cause I'm really, really, really, really, REALLY BORED.

Today is kinda like a day off from a job, at least that's what I feel like.
Too bad that we live in a country whose internet connection can fluctuate from really fast to absolutely positively f***kingly laggy and slow. I censored out the word because I'm thoughtful that children DO use the internet.
I may not seem like the kind that cuss, but I damn well know how to. I'm definitely not the nice goody-goody two shoes type. Now you know.

Why two posts a day? Because I'm bored and the net connection is so slow that it gets on my nerve when I'm trying to kill Ghost Pirates in WPT3 of MS. I really don't like dying and losing experience- 5% on lvl 9x is REALLY KILLING.

Yeah, most people can't get that I'm a gamer. Yup, I AM ONE.
When I tell someone that I have a character in a particular MMORPG, most of them would say either one of the following:

1. You serious ah? Don't lie lah. People like you who like to read don't game one lah.
2. Really? I didn't think that you'd be one. You certainly don't look like the type that spends her time playing online games.
3. Show me your character then I'll believe you.

Those people would then have their eyes pop out when they see the levels of my chars. Their mouths would drop when I told them that I once did P.Q in MS for three days straight without sleeping.
If you have noticed, even gaming lingo appears in some of my posts when I'm not careful to reread it.

If I'm not playing a game, then I'd probably be watching my bro playing one.
God of War, Dawn of War, Crash Bandicoot, Republic Commandos... Been there, seen that.

To tell the truth, I've been gaming quite a lot this year and I did pull an A.N on some of the school days (people's reaction: gasp!). Remember some of the times that I actually fell asleep in class? Half of it was due to A.N-ing, the other half was the usual school chore of revision. And it's kinda great the I don't get eyebags or panda eyes easily, that way no one would know. Ehehe...

But for the sake of SPM, I've stopped since umm...June, I think.
But some time around Sept, my internet died; I've been using my sis's com ever since.
I'd probably go back to gaming when I get a laptop. I know for sure that CABAL would definately be smoother cause of the awesome R.A.M that I'll have, not to mention the better graphic card.
I'm training another blader and will try to reach double trans before lvl 70. My wiz is already there and will only use it to fund my blader; don't have much to work on when I don't have a EOD. Training on death soldiers are kinda getting stale.
I'll also be trying to get my f/p mage to arch mage someday, just don't know when.

Oh well. I'll go watch tv now. Still so bored.

And Then There was One

The air and mood of the hall was calm, with a hint of tension. It was really quiet, the only sounds one could hear was the spinning of fans, the shuffling of papers, repositioning of legs, the ticking of the clock, clearing of throat and the occasional murmur of students.

Almost all eyes were on the clock located at the top of the wall, or at the watch on one's wrists. Each wondering why time seemed to fast forward to this very moment and then started to drag on. As the time ticked closer, each student became more and more restless.

The very words that relieved the burden of each (or almost each) student sitting for Physics III yesterday was,

Masa untuk menjawab telah tamat. Sila berhenti menulis and letakkan pen di atas meja. Sila pastikan nombor kad pengenalan dan nombor giliran anda telah dituliskan and ikatkan helaian tambahan anda. Guru pengawas akan mula mengutip kertas jawapan anda.

Translation:

The time for answering your paper is over. Pens down, please. Please make sure that you I.C and registration number are written in your answer booklets and tie up the extra sheets of papers you have used. The invigilators will be collecting the papers momentarily.

As soon as the papers were out of my hands, I felt a really huge burden has lifted off from my shoulders; the exact same way I felt after the Living Skills paper was collect two years ago. Finally, the last of my headaches are gone.

The exams aren't over yet, you know. There's still the one last subject, EST. Of course, I didn't celebrate the end yet, not until I'm officially done on the Thursday. Once I'm done, I'll do most of the stuff I wrote in my to-do list. That and I'll discuss about my college program and which college I'm going to attend next year with dad. I hope that he'll agree to what I've decided.

Since EST has nothing to do any revision for, I'll go watch some tv or do something fun. I've been entertainment deprived for far too long now.

Three-Two-One

As the day ends, I'm down with only three more subjects to sit for; 8 more papers to do.
I'm so excited!
I won't say anything about my papers; out of sight, out of mind.
But I am a lil happy though.

Next week is my last and final week in school. With the end of that week, I've 'graduated' from secondary school and will be awaiting the month where I'll go back into the school after three months, be all jittery and nervous as the teacher is getting my result slip, and then me crying because I did far worst than I had originally though. Then, I'd still go attend college and the result slip will be left unattended and collecting dust. I'm now prepared for the worst!
The sad thing is, nobody will be in school (nobody was there today too, so creepy); and I didn't even say goodbye to my juniors!
Oh well, I'll still randomly drop by the school next year, since bro is still in the school. I might even join him and Miss Tan in the archery club...Ehehe

With two of my headaches gone, namely add math and chemistry, I still have two more to go. Oddly enough, the only Science subject that I never have a tutor for is my best out of the three, Biology. I do hope that I can remember all the names of the bones, the mitosis and meiosis sequence and the knee-jerk reflex for the essays.

I guess this is all that I'll write this time, I'm pretty wiped out after a whole day of examination, from 8.00 a.m -3.30 pm; even with caffeine for breakfast.
I'll go play some Crash Bash before heading to bed. I'll do my revision on two years worth of Biology in two days and the same for Physics. Ta~

Six-Five-Four-Three-Two-One

Three subjects are done and gone, literally.

Yesterday, I bid adieu to Malay. I'll probably never use this language ever again, unless I'm forced to. Hmm, let me rethink...Yup, never.

And today, I bid farewell to History, or so I thought. For those who, like me, have already started scouting for courses to take on next year, you would probably have a brochures lying around right?
(This is only applicable to M'sians) Okay, take a look at the section where they give you the brief intro on the course. Beneath or beside the offered subjects, there is either a fine print or a huge box stating:

All local students are required to take 3 MQA Compulsory Subjects that include Bahasa Kebangsaan A, M'sia Studies and Morale Education.

That was taken from the Pre-U/ A-levels brochure I got from KBU.
And you might probably not want to press the 'delete history file' button in your brain just yet...

Ee Wynn, my senior, burst the bubble on me when she told me that LAN subjects are compulsory, which means that History and Morale is still waiting for me when I get to college. But wait...I can't see it in Sunway's brochure! Nope, I don't see it anywhere in the CIMP section! Does that mean I can escape (I really hope I can!).

Well, I do see an Interdisciplinary Studies that has the term 'required for M'sian students' at its side but it's under Social Science. So, I shouldn't need to worry about that, or should I?
The only way to find out for real is to attend the open day on the 13th-14th of Dec.

Tomorrow is Math. I really hope that I won't be as careless as I usually am. There's a hell lot of precious marks that I've lost whenever my tutor gave me mock examinations.

Speaking of examinations, I just wrote an essay about it during English I. I couldn't help but say examinations are good, no matter how much I loathe it.

There was another title that I've found interesting, My Perfect Wife/ Husband.
I imagined that the people who set the questions are fun-suckers that won't give out anything more interesting that paint drying so I was surprised.

Since it was interesting, why didn't I do it?
My answer would most probably be, I have nothing to write about. This might be the result of reading too much shoujo, but I don't have any idea how to write. That and probably because I've never really 'loved' anyone. Sure, I do love my family, but that's different. I did have crushes on some people, but they mostly die out real fast (the feeling, not the people); a week, give or take.
For me, admiration and respect would probably be the only feelings that I'll give; love...not so much, or even none at all.
The guy that I would come close to liking doesn't even exist.

Alright, when tomorrow ends, it'll be four down and six to go.

Almost There

I'm still not off the hook yet; at least until I'm 21. Heh.

SPM is in 2 days, and the first subject is Malay. Geez, where has all the time went?
(*cough* idled her time away*cough*)

The total days of examination are 8 days at the span of a month. There are breaks in between though. Now, where have I dumped my schedule...

*digs under piles of reference books; finds it lodged between Chem and Physics*

Ah, here it is:
The days in which I have to sit in the stuffy hall and be all nervous are : 11, 12, 13, 18, 20, 24, 25 and the 27th.
Science students are done earlier than Arts! Yay!

I don't know why, but I have a really good feeling about the exams...Maybe it's a premonition of something really bad happening! Maybe I'll find out that I don't qualify for the course I want to take next year! Arghhh! (I can't help being a pessimist)

My last paper will be ending at 3.15, so what am I going to do after that to celebrate my graduation?
The exact same thing I did for PMR 2 years ago; sleep.
I remembered my last paper ended at 10 in the morning. I didn't have my lunch and went straight to bed. I woke up later in the evening, went to the bathroom and then went back to bed. I think I'd most probably be doing the same thing this year.

Prom happens to be right after SPM, which is 3rd of Dec (if there isn't any date change). I'm not the type that attends this kind of event, nor any kind of social events.
Why?
- I'm dateless
- I don't own any sort of dress (nor am I about of waste my allowance on renting one)
- I don't like wearing make-up (it's like a coat of paint of my face, ewhh)
- I don't own any fancy shoes (all I have are sneakers and sandals)
- I have better things to do on that day

Besides, I won't even be around during the whole of December (like always). As to why, no one needs to know.
Even if I was around, I'd most probably be hanging out at Border's graphic novels section or catching a movie at the Cineplex. I'm finally free of school and exams, of course I'd want to enjoy myself for what limited time I have before being shipped off to boot camp (NS) and starting college.
I can't wait to start college too.

Speaking about college, I don't think I should worry too much about the upcoming exams. I mean, even if I don't do well (touchwood) I'll still be able to continue my studies. I've checked the requirements for the course I'm planning to take and all they require is the minimum of 5Cs. Also, it's not like I'm planning to take scholarships or anything. So, I'm seeing SPM as a sort of pass for me to get to college; the ticket and train analogy.

But getting good grades is kinda like having the bragging rights to something; and I'm definitely not the kind that likes to lose, especially to that stuck-up cousin of mine. He's been getting the exact same grades as I did since way, way back. I really should be less competitive.

I understand that grades aren't everything, but I just can't help but compare myself with others. Dad wasn't one of the best students during school time, but he's more successful compared them. Even Ms. Tan said that her non-degree holding friends are more successful, just because they dare to take chances.
Also, grandma used to say: Everyone wants to be No.1, but who's going to be No.2?
I never understood why she said that, I don't think I ever will, on a count that she's dead.
Oh well.

Two Posts in A Day and Twenty 'Sorry'-s

Well, the previous post was just posted a few seconds ago.

Also, about the changing of the URL address...
I found it very troublesome to contact each and everyone of my friends (which doesn not include school mates), so I will be keeping my old URL. Moreover, I found it unnecessary to change it, when I'm the last one going to bed every nite.

To the people I've troubled for my sudden change, I'd like to say sorry in umm...twenty different languages.
First, a bow. __(_ _)__

Albanian- Më fal!
Bosnian- Oprostite!
Chinese- Dui bu qi!!
Danish- Undskyld!
Esperanto- Mi bedaŭras!
French- Desole!
German- Ich bedaure!
Hebrew- Slicha!
Irish (Gaelic)- Tá brón orm!
Japanese- Gomenasai
Korean- Mianhamnida
Latin- Ignosce mihi!
Malay- Maaf!
Norwegian- Unnskyld!
Polish- Przepraszam!
Russian- Prastite!
Scots- Sairy!
Tagalog-Ipagpaumanhin ninyo ako!
Ukrainian- Вибачте!
Zulu- Uxolo!

Okay then, I'll go do my chemistry now.

Murphy's Law

I just got to know what Murphy’s Law is from my Physics tutor; it’s that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Well, Murphy’s Law would definitely describe my week, probably my life too.

I got banned from blogging (for reasons I will not disclose), but that won’t stop me from updating my blog. Hehe… I’m the kind of person that finds loopholes in things and work with them. I’m banned from blogging, which by definition is typing out a post in a blog; but I’m typing a post from Microsoft Word and pasting it on my blog, which isn’t actually blogging at all. I didn’t type my post, I pasted my post. Hah!

About Murphy’s Law and me, things that can go wrong indeed went wrong; really wrong. I was disappointed the whole week through and am wondering if the Fates are trying to make me miserable on purpose.

Well, I used to watch this anime called Gate Keepers, set in the 1970s, when Japan experienced an economic boom after World War II. The characters are teenagers gifted with the ability to call upon powers from another dimension. However, this gift is also a curse as most of the members is experiencing or have experienced trauma and insecurities; and that is only if they do not discover their abilities at an early stage. If left unnoticed when fully manifested, it will ruin the person’s life. The point is, the main protagonist Ukiya Shun did not marry Ikusawa Ruriko like I expected them to be when I watched it eight years ago. During the whole course of the show (24 episodes), it was quite obvious that they liked each other and it was proven when he finally confessed at the end.
When the OVA Gate Keepers 21 came out four years ago, I assumed that Izusawa Ayane was their child and was quite happy that they got married. I was ignorant of the real fact and was fooled. Once I found out the real truth, I was really disappointed. Apparently, they didn’t get married. As cited in the novel that bridges 1969 to 2001, Gatekeepers 1985, Ikusawa-san went to university after graduating from high school. She had her teaching license and went to an outlying island to teach, where she married SOMEONE ELSE.

What the hell is wrong with them?!?! What the hell was wrong with her?!?!

I mean, they liked each other since they were kids and they don’t end up together?!?!
It’s like 12 years of unrequited love answered for two years and then poof goes the magic!
Humans…I’m sad that I’m one. Emotions that are too fragile, I don't want them.

Next is Sev from Republic Commando. He was lost in the mission in Kashyyk. The Delta Squad wanted to go back for him, but mission is always before brotherhood. Even though I liked Scorch for his lighheartedness, I liked Sev for his sadistic humor. He’s what keeps the team in balance. FYI: Even though I don’t like Star Wars, I still enjoy watching my brother shoot bullets into those aliens and see things go boom (probably another reason why I like Scorch- he’s the demolition expert).

The next thing that went wrong would be my right wrist, it hurts. It’s been hurting for a few days now and I’m wearing a brace. That brace restricts my movement and makes thing harder for me, especially when I need to write or type.

There’s another thing that bothered me, death. I don’t like it. I don’t like to hear about people dying nor see people die. It doesn’t matter whether if it’s fictitious or reality, I don’t like it at all. I don’t like the pain that stabs me everytime I hear about it, regardless if I know the person or not. I don’t know if everyone feels it, but the pain is really hard to bear sometimes. It’s like something inside me is being ripped to shreds, the stabs are so painful that it could actually become numbing. Then I wouldn’t be able to breathe for a few seconds and tears would start falling. It’s weird and annoying but very helpful sometimes.
Even when the week was bad, something good came out of it. I’m able to cry in ten seconds, give or take, without causing any bodily harm to myself. That emotional weapon is at my manipulation, it’s time to take over the world.

In another two weeks, it’s D-Day and I’M NOT BLOODY PREPARED.
DAMN

The Bitter Truth

I accidentally removed one of my post; purposely for another.

The truth is quite a hard pill to swallow, huh? Think back of the time when mommy told you that Santa Claus doesn't exist and that the South Pole is a barren wasteland which is inhabitable to any living thing other than some microbes. Then she tells you that the presents are not by Santa and it's daddy who dresses up as him on Christmas eve. For a child to digest that is hard, then he will start to question his belief and his promise to be good throughout the year. What's the point? Since Santa doesn't exist, what's the point to being good? Since it's mommy and daddy the one buying the present, I'll still get a present even if I'm not good.
Conclusion: The truth might cause more chaos and perhaps the birth of a twisted mind.

The Bitter Truth is aptly named.

Tis a sin to lie; yet many, if not all, of us lie. Even if we are taught not to lie, we cowardly hide the truth when it is ourselves who feel threatened. Even a simple white lie is still a lie.
Some of us are bad liars, while others can even lie ever so smoothly.
Who would want to go through the painful truth, right?

There are many reasons to lie; a husband telling his wife that she doesn't look fat in that dress, a student telling the teacher that he didn't bring his homework when he in fact didn't complete it and was spending his time making out with the girlfriend outside his porch...
Lies in the name of not hurting someone's feelings is still a lie. Face it, a lie is still a lie; a rose in whatever name you shall call it is still a rose.

Now, why do we usually lie...
To protect our image;
To protect our ego;
To protect people's impression of ourselves;
All in short, just to protect us.
Selfish, isn't it?

One might find many reasons to justify himself to hiding the truth, no matter how noble the reasons are, it's still draws down to protecting himself, maintaining the image of himself and his ego.

I never said that I don't lie, in fact I do. Just by using my pseudonym, I'm lying about my identity. And yes, I'm selfish just by doing that. So what? I admit that I'm protecting myself.
And I don't give a damn about what you think of me; as far as I'm concerned, you're nobody to me.

In short, everyone lies and I don't care.; lie away! Humans can never survive a day without lying. Anyone up to disagree with my statement?
Better think well before giving me an answer.

PS: To that bastard who caused me bodily harm over the scuffle that was blown far out of proportion all due to protecting your ego: Since you're a nobody, nobody will give a damn about you. Bloody jerk.

PPS: I've lost all hope for humans and I wish I wasn't one either. Human-to-human relationships and contact sickens me at this moment, so I'm leaving this world and going into mine. Do not touch me or be ready to lose a limb.

(WARNING: The author is majorly pissed at the moment and will take an indefinite amount of time to lick her wounds and regains her composure, if she is awake; the time will be reduced to when she wakes up, if she goes to sleep. As for her anger, it'll be until she's done being angry. She has currently detach herself from this world and strolling the forests of her own. This warning message is being typed by her body in third person mode.)

Living Life

I've got to hand it to Rob, he's so awesome! He's so awesome that I might steal away his Ibanez electric guitar when he comes the next time.
*hehe*

Living life... I don't even know why I typed that.
Oh yeah, I remember!
I bought four manga today at Borders! Yay!
It's Skip Beat! v07-08 and La Corda d'Oro v03-04.
And that's where I got the idea for today's post.

Mom wanted to go to Tesco's for her monthly grocery shopping, so I tagged along (since I couldn't bare to be cooped up at home any longer; I've not been anywhere but to tuition for the past month!). I was due for my visit to Borders anyways.

After brunch, mom and I separated (we were having brunch at Tesco's); she went up the escalator while I walked over to the Curve. I've been here so often that I know it like the back of my hand, at least the first floor, that is. I've never wandered further than the second floor, which was were a murder happened when it first opened.

Enough about the dark history, I shan't let this favourite place of mine be tainted!
Anyways, I walked over to Borders and found some office guys sitting at Starbucks (it's a joint venture of Borders, I think) and tapping away on their laptops. As much as I like the Mocha and Java Chip Frappacinos, I don't think I could afford to have a 14 buck ice blended coffee every freaking day. I mean, I could have tall, but what's the point? It's only 4 oz less than grande and 8 from venti; the price from grande to venti is only one buck in difference. Might as well have venti.
Besides, I think bro's also hooked onto it. *aha-ha*
It was only half a year ago that he complained that I was drinking overpriced coffee. But when he tried the iced mocha (which I bought), he couldn't say more. Now, he's stopping by at the Starbucks outlet near the tuition centre to get his mocha fix!

I think I've gone off topic...
Okay. So, I went into Borders and found it really quiet, just the way I like it.
I walked over to the graphic novels / manga section and started browsing the section, shelf by shelf, debating which title I would get for this month. I started scanning for the titles that I wanted to get in future. So far, I've found 100% Perfect Girl, Bride of the Water God, Angel Diary and Goong. This means, I don't need to go to downtown KL and be stuck in the massive traffic jam to get to KLCC, then go up four floors to reach Kinokuniya and wander around aimlessly as I get distracted from my original objective by the humongous amounts of books there.

I've been to Kinokuniya with my grandaunt three years ago and it was like dream come true to me! I've always wanted to get myself lost in a huge bookstore or be left alone in a huge library. Well, part of that dream came true; next would be getting locked for the night in the Library of Congress in the States.

Again, I've strayed off... *sigh*
I was browsing through the racks and stopped at the last half shelf. There was a bench, conviniently placed there for people to sit and browse through titles before making up their mind or for people to spend their entire time there reading the manga when they couldn't afford to buy it but was curious to how it ends.

There I saw an old lady, around 70-ish.
You must be wondering, why am I talking about an old lady anyways. Old people are not interesting; they're just like giant babies (a comment from a friend who's a jerk sometimes, just cause he hates his grandparents).
What's interesting about her is that she was holding a shoujo title, Hana Kimi.

I've read that title before, loved it but found no point to buying it. Even though it's by Viz Media, it isn't under Shoujo Beat. It's more expensive, like 34.90 compared to 30.90 under Shoujo Beat. Maybe I will, when dad increases my allowance.
An old lady reading shoujo title? Shouldn't she go for a more mature title, under the josei demographic perhaps?
I walked closer to the shelf and observed her at a distance. I could hear her quietly chuckling at something, I wondered if it's one of Shuichi's antics.

This made me realize something.
This old lady is enjoying something that she couldn't when she was my age. When she was 17, she was probably hiding somewhere in fear of the very soldiers where the comic originated from - Japan, while I could waltz in and out without any fears (well, there are snatch thieves and other unthinkables, but not as bad as merciless soldiers who hated our guts).

I've always lamented that my life was way too peaceful and too dull; I've even complained it to my mom. She said that many would kill for the kind of life I have; living in a comfortable home, given a chance to drive at a young age, going overseas for family vacations, don't need to fight with siblings for the use of the computer, being able to buy anything I want (partially true, I have to save it though) and having no need to worry about the next meal.

It takes an old lady reading shoujo manga to make me realize that I should start living life instead of hoping for fantasy to take place. I only get one shot at this, only one shot of thinking, breathing and being me. Who knows what happens when we die; there might be a chance of reincarnation, but I wouldn't think, feel, act, behave like me, I wouldn't be me.

So, cast off all uncertanties and live life without regrets. If a mistake is made, keep moving forward, mistakes are what makes us who we are.

A quote from Walt Disney

Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious...and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.

I think I've been quoting a lot recently. ^o^

Criticism in Reviews

Books, manga, movies, songs, albums, clothes, cars, food, people.
What do they all have in common?
They're all stuff that can be praised, scrutinized, criticized and destroyed by mere words.

I've seen many reviews in the past 17 years of my life and have found them to be somewhat...cruel. It pains me to see how people react to a bad review, especially when much effort is taken to produce such objects.
It only takes a bad apple to spoil the whole barrel; it only takes one bad review to spoil the image of something, but even a thousand words cannot seem to convince people of its beauty nor perfection.

Perhaps it's a common nature for humans to vituperate, or even be captious. I can't say I've never done it. Usually, I bite my tongue before spitting the words; sometimes, I spit it out and then regret over the pain I'd cause.

Take books and manga for instance. People usually read the reviews before buying the book; they'll rush for the bookstore if it's highly recommended, ignore the book and deem it the author's worst creation ever if it isn't.

It all boils down to what the critics says, huh? If they say it's good, means it's good?
I beg to differ.

People never seem to comprehend that it's their own opinion that matters most. They won't even give it a chance if the critics says that it's bad. Don't they ever think that maybe, just maybe the object under criticism will be something they (the consumer) will come to like or even like from the very beginning?

Critics are people who, well...criticize. And I quote from the animated movie, Ratatouille. It's the scene where Anton Ego was wondering what sort of review he should write for Gusteau's.

In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face is that, in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new.

It does change the view of a critic, huh? Or shall I say, criticizing a critic. That's only when I post nothing else but the sentence in red.
It isn't fair I just quote that sentence to convince others that critics are mean people; but there are some who don't admit that something is good when it comes smacking them right in the face.

I've seen a dozen of reviews telling me that a certain product or book/ manga title isn't good, but found myself liking it instead of hating it when I try it out.
Just because someone says it's bad, doesn't mean you have to hate it without even trying it out yourself.
Also, my taste for things might not be the same for the person writing the review, kinda like the the tomato (tuh-may-toe) and the tomato (tuh-mah-toe) argument.

I'll stress again that reviews are just what the person thinks when they observed the object, not what everyone in the whole wide world thinks of the object in question. A critic might represent some of us, but not all of us.

So the next time you are interested in something, try it out before dismissing it. The reviewer/ critic might not enjoy it, but that doesn't mean you won't.

The 'L' Word

I think I'm most suited to laugh at jokes, not make them.

Aaaaanyways, you'd most probably be wondering why the hell am I up so late; even worst, it's almost 2.30 in the morning and I'm secretly using my brother's computer to access blogspot. I just read 8 volumes of 100% Perfect Girl and am starving for more (a manga addict, I've become) .___.
Moreover, I don't think it's a secret anymore, since bro's following my blog and will see it when he wakes up, but I'll worry about that later.

I seem to have the inspiration (if not, impulse) to write whatever I'm about to write. Usually, I'd wait till morning come and will no longer have any of the inspiration or the ideas to write. Since I'm on study leave and tomorrow is a Saturday, what the heck?
Carpe Diem would be an expression somewhat suited for it, so to speak.

I guess I'm beating around the bush, huh?
Just a slight warning, I may be a bit long winded in this post cause I'm typing whatever comes into my mind.
And anyone who reads this would most probably be wondering why I put up such a weird title, 'The 'L' Word'.

First off, I'd like to put myself on the bench.
I'd have to admit, I think I'm trying too hard to not be a girl.
And they say, the truth shall set you free; I'm feeling like I'm admitting to having some sick fetish I've secretly kept hidden for years, ewhh.
*clears throat* (- It's not necessary, since I'm typing and not speaking but whatever)
Let me begin again.
I'm a girl and I'm trying too hard not to be one. Why?
I don't like being perceived as weak nor helpless.

Since women tend to be govern by emotions, that and emotion betrays; I tend to strip myself of it. As a result, I become insensitive.
But it seems like I can't hold out as well as before.
It wasn't that hard when it was in primary school. Secondary school's the start of my nightmare.
Yup, stupid hormones messed up my control.
And it got worst this year.
*rolls eyes*

It seems like there's always a day in a month when I feel particularly...umm, lonely. (I can't believe I just said it x.X). And it seems like today's one of that day. Again, I blame the hormones.

I'd usually stare at my computer screen, reading my manga , ogling at the bishounen and dream about the knight in shining armor.
Pathetic, huh? Even I feel sorry for myself.
After that, I'll call myself back from La-La Land by saying

1. There isn't any guy who is as perfect as those bishounen in real life. Usually, they're jerks who thinks that the whole damn world revolves around them.
2. I'm no heroine, heck, I'm even more twisted than the female antagonists that tries to get the main male from the heroine. Besides, I'm fugly and have a hell lot of bad habits. Clotho from GOW II is a beauty queen next to me.
   
3. It's not real, for heaven's sake! Those stories are written in their favor so that they can have a happy ending and they all live happily ever after. There's no happily ever after in real life.
4. Love, unfortunately, makes people do stupid things. That and nobody can survive only on love and sunshine; we're human, not plants.
5. Last of all, I don't have a knight in shining armor ready to put his life on the line just to save mine; nobody is that noble. I can sit around and keep being the damsel in distress for all eternity but he will never come, simply because he doesn't exist.

I think I should try to find a way to totally strip myself of these annoying emotions. You can't get hurt when you're emo-less.
Also, I don't think I'll hear the 'L' word being said to my face in this lifetime.
If the person did, I'd most probably say this:

Dude, did you knock your head or something?

I'm not kidding here.

British English vs Malaysian English

I know, I know.
I've not updated for quite some time now due to my wireless being down and me being a stupid girl telling my dad to change when he upgrades the computers at the end of the year.

So, as a treat (and because my life is dull and boring), I'm posting something I got from Sam. Thanks, man!

But before that, let me tell you something.
My parents just got back from Vietnam; and they pointed out that even when there's no traffic lights in the country (I'm serious, there isn't a single traffic light anywhere) , the accident rate is relatively less than any country. They have 3 simple rules

1. Don't run.
2. Don't turn back.
3. Walk slowly.

They also said that instead of lorries and trailers, motorbikes are the kings of the road.

Okay, enough about that, my treat is getting cold already!
Here goes, (and I hope you guys enjoy!)

Who says our English is teruk.? Just see below -
Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point, effective, etc.........

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size,
but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY .
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want la...

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're
coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! Lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time.. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen? Why like that....

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you,
Malaysians: Like that also don't know how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Malaysians: Celaka u

Me, The Oddball

*ahhhhhhhhem*

Move over Shirayuki, Zen is MINE
The whole world can have Edward Cullen; I wouldn't give a hoot about it.

I've just declared war with a fictional character for a fictional bishounen.
Yes, I'm whacked out.

I need sleeeeep.

Sense of Loss

Well, I guess it's the end of the double meaning.

I've been kinda lost these few days, perhaps it's because of the double Math tuition.
Or it's because I no longer have anything to read...
I dunno.
But what I know is, I'm not the kind of person that can be left bored.

I didn't plan out what I wanted to write.
Oh well.

I think I'll go answer Jon's post, and then have another round of Crash Bandicoot.

Ulaid/ End of trials

Ulaid has bagpipes, sorta has a calming effect on me.

IT'S THE END OF TRIALS!


Actually, trials ended on Monday with Physics.
Physics paper was okay, some of the questions were easy. But paper I was an entirely different story.
I'm glad that it's over.

I've started my study leave yesterday. Pn. Loi actually asked me to attend school yesterday, but since I heard that most of my classmates aren't going to be in school, I skipped.
Hey, it's not like she can penalize me. My mom already wrote the note saying that I'll be taking my leave of absence since yesterday.

I was busy cleaning yesterday too. I threw away most of the old newspaper that I've been keeping since Form 3 and some of the useless junk lying around in my room. I've even recycled my woodwork that we did in Form 2. My room and table is no longer cluttered; and I have a bigger space on my table.
And I found that I'm more productive at home than in school. I think it's because of the atmosphere, it's stuffy and tensed in school.

My personal bookshelf is now full. I've moved some of the RomCom that I don't really like onto the second shelf. The first shelf would be my favorite novels and my manga; second would be the historical diaries that I collect and the RomCom while the third would be my referrence books, workbooks and textbooks. There's another blue container box that I've filled with my Harry Potter collection and other books, and two volumes of Kare Kano which I've lost interest in. The story just got too...I don't even know what word to use for it. With those two volumes, I have a total of 18 bunkoban in my possesion.

Speaking about manga, I was kinda lucky on Saturday. I couldn't find volume 1 and 2 of Skip Beat! for more than two months, so I decided to ask the shop assitant for it. She said I was lucky that she had one of each in stock, and it was the last one. She also said that Vampire Knights and Skip Beat! are in constant demand, and that the shipping company can't send them fast enough. I wouldn't mind that much though, since I've already have them in my hard drive.


And since I'm on luck, Thursday would be one of my unlukiest day in my life. First was the accident, then it was my screen.
When I got home, had my dinner and ranted out about the accident on my blog, and then my screen decided to die.


I was reading chapter 2 of Dengki Daisy at the time. I was getting to the part where Tasuku-kun was doing a weird pose saying "You're about to chuck the broom and scissors at me? Come on, bring it on" when my screen suddenly blacked out. I stared at it for a few seconds and then it turned back on again, and the image was fuzzy. Then, it blacked out again; I could smell something burning and saw that the light on the power button was flickering on and off. I went to the back of the monitor and saw some tiny sparks flying from the inside. I switched the power off without a second thought, even though I was downloading at the time.



I then ran down to tell my dad my monitor died. He said that he'll bring one of the old monitors back from the office. He forgot about it till Monday, which I reminded him when mom asked me to call him and ask what time will he be back.
Bro said that I wasn't strong enough to carry my old monitor, and said that he'll do it for me. He didn't fix it till yesterday afternoon, when he got back from school.

And what did I do during the days that I couldn't use my computer?
I was watching my Korean drama, First Shop Coffee Prince. I finished 18 episodes within two days, so I practice playing Crash Bandicoot. It was fun.

Before I forget, my sis's friend translated our names with her Japanese name book. Apparently, my family name is Takaha and my given name is Kimiki.
Kimiki...Bro called me Kimi-chan and Miki-chan.
Cass called me Kimchi and then said Mickey mouse.
Well, now I've got three more names for people to call me; Winternite, Winter, Nite, Lyn, Elaine, Elyn (reserved only for mom's friend), Kimiki, Kimi-chan and Miki-chan.
And I'll kick the person's ass if he/she calls me Kimchi or Mickey Mouse!

Hmm...I feel like reading Skip Beat! now.
...There goes my notion of grinding my nose to the books.
I'm hopeless.


PS: If anyone is interested, try reading Ningyou Kyuutei Gakudan by Kaori Yuki. She's famous for her horror manga, like Ludwig Kakumei (I absolutely love that series!). The guignols are awesome!
It's being scanslated by Aerandria and it currently has two chapters. And no, it's not licensed and you can get it from Aerandria's site. Please do check it out!