Hell

You know the term, Hell on Earth?
I think that it simply is what it says: Hell on Earth.
Not a description of chaos, not the experience one feels; it simply means what it is- Hell on Earth.

Right now, I feel disgusted.
Not by the macabre find of corpses hastily buried in the South Philippines, not by the incestuous German man who violated and ruined his daughter and not even the Khmer Rouge nor the Jew Genocide of WWI.
I am disgusted at the beings that caused it- humans.
I feel disgusted by the beings that call themselves human.
I feel disgusted at myself who is human.
And no achievement of the so called human race or mankind will ever make me proud of being one either.

At this moment, I don't think that Hell is the worst place to be.
To me, being human is even worse than being a prisoner in hell.

Humans are never satisfied.
Humans are hypocrites.
Humans do what they teach their kids not to do.
Humans preach what they never abide by.
These are the real definitions of human.

I once questioned the reason to conform with human society's views if it goes against one's principle.
Someone replied that, if something is a social norm, then it is something accepted by human society; thus making it valid and correct.
I then challenged the speaker with the fact that sexual relationships before marriage is a social norm, but that doesn't make it right.
I was then labeled as stubborn and self-destructing.
See my point?
Humans are hypocrites and no longer have claims of being a more intelligent being compared to beasts.

As much as I am disgusted, I won't take away my consciousness and life.
I will simply live by the rules and morales written and preached by the hypocrites, caring not whether human society approves of it.
If they denounce me as human, I shall be glad of it.
I have no wish to be grouped under such vile and vulgar creatures of vice.

Mmhmm...
I'm not dead, yet.
Just very busy...
Like I'm half swallowed by the dreaded monster known as Life.

Still writing, just a tad behind schedule.
Have a whole bunch of stuff to finish this week.
Stupid tests and quizzes.
Gosh...

I really need a vacation soon.

Still

YES, I AM STILL ALIVE!
Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?

I'm still breathing;
I'm still blinking;
My stomach is still trying to digest mom's pork chop with apple cider sauce;
My esophagus still trying to suppress that burp I've been holding back on;
I'm still writing my novel- 23k and going,
My characters are rebelling- they don't listen to me anymore, and the most important thing...
Why the hell are there so many teen romance novels with vampires in them?

...Figures.
Everyone is gaga about Edward.
Speaking of which, I've not touched my Twilight novels ever since the movie came out.
I tend to stay from mainstream stuff- I don't like it as much once it gets famous and everyone is crazy about it.

The next book on my book hunt list are Isis: Tale of the Supernatural, Impulse and Initiative, The Personal Diary of Mr. Darcy and Nightlight.
I doubt I'll be able to find them here.

And if anyone is looking for a fun game to play, I might suggest that you try the Dream Chronicles; just make sure that you have enough RAM to support or it'll be very laggy and the graphics sluggish. It spans three episodes and I just finished the second one in the morning.
It's a hidden object game that is beautifully done; the mini games are really nice and the soundtrack is very soothing.
Others on my favorite list are: the MCF series, Princess Isabella: Curse of the Witch, Natalie Brookes and Samantha Swift.

Well then, I should be getting back to whatever I wanted to do.

Epic?

Ok, it's three in the morning (close to three thirty) and I'm still up.
No kidding.
My parents would flip if they opened their door and found me still on my laptop and sitting in the same sofa, at the same position and... still intent on typing.
Yeah, my family shares not the joy of writing; neither do they share my passion for books.
I fancy myself an adopted child, but my resemblance to mother made that thought wholly improbable.

The weekend is over and I had finally surpassed the recommended word count 2 days ago.
I started my story on the 4th, three days later than the actual starting date.
So far, I'm happy with what I've gotten; immensely happy.
My characters are starting to write themselves, which isn't a bad thing after all- less for me to mull over how to connect one part to the next.
I did not intend for my FMC to be so cynical, or her friend such a hopeless romantic, or her cousin to be so immature.
My FMC is now a cynical and outspoken person while her friend is much too busy ogling at her fiancé to be bothered by anything. Her cousin is acting like a child, even when he is twenty-four!

I had some trouble back then, my MMC did not want to come out.
Like I had tweeted for the past few days, he just wasn't willing to show himself. From 10k up to 14.5k words / 22 pages / 7 chapters, he showed neither hide nor tail. I worried that my FMC was too cynical and sarcastic for him.
But that problem is now solved! I finally managed to shove him out into the limelight at my 8th chapter / 26 pages / 15+k words.
Ah, the sweet feeling of accomplishment.

It may be 15k now, but I think I'll be able to add another 1.5 - 2 k words today, more if I'm lucky.
Speaking of which, I have to get to bed now. I still have classes up to 2 in the noontime.

PS: To think of the irony where I get embarrassed at kissing scenes and cringe away at the very sense of the abhorrent pink mood / atmosphere and yet, I'm writing a novel under the genre of romance!
And yeah, I've been reading a little too many Regency novels *coughPrideandPrejuidicecough*
that my novel is written in that form. Or rather, the conversation is styled in that form.

PPS: If anyone is curious, this is the URL to my page in NaNoWrMo -> Winternite's Profile
Uh huh, I have yet to think of a title for my novel. And sorry, no excerpt or synopsis either.

Oh Noes

Well, I'm still writing my story- now more than 4000 words, but around 2000 words shy from the recommended daily word count.
You know, I found it hard to think of a title for this post but words seem to flow when I'm writing my story.
I hope that it will continue...
*prays to the God of Literature and other Gods that has to do with writing and creativity.*

My eye had been twitching almost the whole day, with reasons unknown.
It started when I was in the campus library, continuing my story on paper while the original draft is in my laptop.
Continued throughout the day...

Ok, time to get back to writing. I need to make up for the three days that I didn't write.